


Valentine's Day

by janeway_2cool_4u



Series: It's A Spongebob Holiday Special [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Aromantic Bones, Based on a SpongeBob SquarePants Episode, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Sexy Times, There's A Tag For That, Valentine's Day, Vulcans and Chocolate, Without Actual Sex, how did this become serious this was supposed to be crack, i have i n t i m a c y i s s u e s, i'm not sure if that explicitly comes up but he is. he always is, im crying, jim needs some rest, okay but Lieutenant Charlene Masters is real, okay i reeeeeally didn't edit this, we're all queer here, wow is this bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-10-27 02:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17758142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janeway_2cool_4u/pseuds/janeway_2cool_4u
Summary: Spock and Bones set up a Valentine's Day treat for Jim at a carnival during shore leave on Deiron VIII.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i think i'm gonna rename this, i'm just tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't the worst thing i've read, it's not the worst thing i've written, but I F E E L B A D
> 
> so here, have this drivel. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> also: this was written as generically as possible for both tos & aos because I just... *clenches fist* love space husbands

Spock left his quarters hearing his door close behind him to be greeted by many passing crewmembers preparing for shore leave or rendezvous throughout the day. While he felt slightly strange carrying his work bag with him on  _ The Enterprise _ , as his office, work space, and living space were all relatively close to one another, he was looking forward to the day ahead. As he stood to wait at the turbolift, Yeoman Rand gave Spock a passing grin and a, “Happy Valentine’s, Commander!” before he put a hand on her arm so she wouldn’t pass so swiftly he was unable to retrieve one of the items from his bag. She looked at him curiously but attentive as she frequently did and she accepted his PADD with only a slight frown.

Spock rhetorically asked, “I believe on this day it is customary for Humans to celebrate their affections and appreciations for one another? As such the Captain and I arranged for you and Lieutenant Masters to take leave in the urban center separately from the standard shore side accommodations as you had mentioned to me 6.59 days ago. We do this in appreciation of the both of your work, but primarily for your own which has been not only exemplary but kindly discreet as well. You can find more information related to your accommodations and the surrounding area on the PADD. We hope you enjoy your leave.”

Yeoman Rand’s face was a confusing mix of shock, gratitude, and happiness. Her eyes looked to be watering. She pursed her lips and clutched the PADD close to her chest. “Why thank you, Commander. Charlene is going to be really pleased as well. I'll try to see the Captain but if I don’t catch him could you tell him thanks for us?”

“Of course.”

Yeoman Rand was fidgeting as though she wanted to physically express her thanks as Spock is used to the uncomfortable way in which she struggles to offend him with too many emotional outbursts. Spock nods and is about to turn into the turbolift as it had arrived a moment ago when she grasps his arm tightly, for her rather delicate grip, and says, “Thank you, Commander. I hope you enjoy your leave as well.” She lets him go and walks slowly, then rather quickly down the hall to where Spock believes Lieutenant Masters’ quarters are.

Spock enters the turbolift and indicates he is traveling to the Medbay when Nyota rushes in at the last second. Her skin is vibrant and glistening in a way that Spock does not believe was from running to catch the lift. She fixes her uniform slightly with a grin and greets him with an equally vibrant, “Spock! Good to see you before we leave. Have anything planned for the day?” There is a wiggle to her eyebrow that comes off as more suggestive and uncomfortable when Spock considers her likely morning activities.

“I do, in fact, have a great deal planned for the upcoming leave. My hopes are that they go smoothly and unencumbered by updates of the diagnostic scans  _ The Enterprise _ will be having. I imagine you do as well?”

She wiggles ever so slightly and continues to smile with glowing eyes. “Oh yeah. Very excited. We’re planning on having ‘us time’ the whole week.”

Spock raised an eyebrow and reached in his bag to retrieve another item before the turbolift stopped. “That is what I had assumed you were engaging in this morning.” Nyota has a rather surprised laugh that knocks her head back, her locks shifting in the bun atop her head. Spock had to wait a moment for her to return her head forward so she could see the envelope in his hand. Her eyes went soft in her smile when she took it. “Give my best to Christine,” and he exited to walk towards the Medbay.

The hallway was much more empty than the residential floors but inside, there was the bustle of finishing up tidying for shore leave and the systems checks that would be occurring. While there would be some not taking leave, the majority of the crew would be absent but still likely to rely on the Medbay in case of injury. There was also bags covered in red hearts on a few of the biobeds with signs such as “Barriers”, “Lubricant”, and “Rope” each having educational materials accessible on the fabric screen. Spock was once more stricken by the differences of living in a predominantly Human environment than the predominantly Vulcan one he was raised with.

“Spock! Finally, been waiting all morning.” Doctor McCoy’s grating voice broke through his thoughts and he positioned himself towards him as he approached.

“Given that it is only 07:04, it is not only earlier than the average Alpha shift, but I have arrived one minute earlier than agreed upon.”

McCoy waved his hands about. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get in my office.” He turned around and Spock titled his head at the strange order given that McCoy was clearly leading him into his office, but he followed anyway. He knew they must speak privately.

Once the door swishes behind him, McCoy turns on the discretionary privacy settings and went to his desk, bent down, and rummaged around for something. Spock was uncertain of what was happening and for a fleeting moment, he was concerned that all of their previous conversations on this subject had been misinterpreted and what he had believed was the solidification of a friendship was not that at all. McCoy exclaimed, “Finally!”, grunted, and stood back up with a large mason jar in hand. It had a red around it and a purple bow with pink hearts. Spock’s stomach dropped.

“Well, this is for you, I’m nuts for you, Spock.” There seemed to be a sarcastic lilt to his voice, but Spock was uncertain--

“What, it’s not really that weird to get something for a friend. I mean that’s why I’m helping you anyway. It’s just--It’s literally just nuts that are apparently popular with Vulcans. I dunno, Spock, I’m not great at this. I still don’t know you too well.”

Spock let his brow decrease and promised himself to allow some emotional expression later in privacy given the alarming amount stress his body had just been thrown into.

“Ah. I am familiar with these species of nut, however I have never consumed them myself as they are more popular among the southern hemisphere where they are grown.”

McCoy ambled a bit closer and took off the top. “Well, try one?”

Spock did not enjoy using his fingers to eat in general, but he was particularly uncomfortable doing so in front of those whom were not his betrothed. At his hesitation McCoy rattled the container slightly, so Spock selected what he assumed to be the easiest to crack on the top, did so, and placed it in his mouth with the smallest amount of his fingers touching his lips. McCoy watched him chew it and he nodded clearly looking for a response when he swallowed. Spock remained silent so as to not disappoint.

McCoy grimace. “Well?”

“It was… interesting.”

He threw up his hands. “Great, you hate them. I’ll just you some chocolate on Deiron VIII.”

“That is unnecessary, Doctor. I believe the Terran expression is, ‘it is the thought that counts’.” Spock reaches into his bag once again and pulled out a small bottle. “I have also selected a gift for you as a token of friendship, although the Captain did help me in its selection.”

McCoy’s eyes widened at the whiskey and grabbed it from Spock and he caressed the bottle. “Ah, yeah, Jim knows I love this bourbon. It’s made not too far from my Gran’s old place actually.” He stopped to look Spock accusingly in the eye and jabbed him with a finger. “I’m definitely getting you a shitton of chocolate down there. Get wasted, save it, whatever, but it’s happening.”

Spock takes a step back from the doctor’s poking finger. “As I said, that is unnecessary. Do have the items ready for the planned event this evening?”

“Uh yeah, I’ve got the records, permits, tricorder, communicator. Anything else?”

“No. I shall contact you at 1600. Thank you once again, Leonard.”

McCoy grins and claps him on the arm similarly to the way in which their Captain does. “Of course, Spock. My pleasure. Sides, means I don’t have to come up with anything of my own. Just get to piggyback off of you.”

Spock quirks his eyebrow at the unusual language, although not the most unusual he has heard from the doctor. “Indeed. Now I am needed on the bridge.” He bows out of the office as he hears McCoy shout.

“I’ll just keep the nuts then? If you ever want to try to make something, I’ll have em!”

Spock gave McCoy a look over his shoulder as he turned out of the Medbay indicating he would not ever retrieve them.

Once on the bridge, he could see that someone had attached red hearts to the back of the Captain’s chair and many of his coworkers had cards, candy, and confusingly, stuffed animals at their stations. Under normal circumstances Spock would likely reprimand them, however the Captain had announced that he would allow for certain festivities as long as they would not interfere with the docking this morning. Chekov seemed to have the most adorning his station as it was littered with cards and glitter. Spock made his way over to the unoccupied command chair.

“Report, Mr. Sulu?”

“We’re just waiting on Commodore Rhada to approve docking. They're still moving around some other ships, so they think they’ll be ready for us on Dock III at 08:30. We’re going to be in orbit for the remaining hour or so.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sulu.”

“Oh! And the Captain’s in his ready room, but I’m not a hundred percent sure he wants you in there? It’s not a security thing or anything, I just got that vibe, if you know what I mean.”

Spock blinked. He did not completely know what the Lieutenant meant but he was determined to see his Captain in private this morning as soon as possible. “Noted.” So he still made his way over to the Captain’s ready room and the doors opened without resistance. The Captain was hunched over his conference table, delicately picking up a piece of art prior to being startled by Spock’s presence and jumping. His grip on the sculpture slipped and before he could catch it, it had hit the floor, shattered. He looked at the ground about a foot to his right where the bits of some form of rock lay with sunken shoulders, deflated.

“Well, shit, Spock.” He sighed and looked up apologetically. “That was your present. I’m sorry.”

Spock made his way over to him and placed his hands on his hips and his immediately went to Spock’s biceps. “Jim, as much as I would have appreciated and cherished any gift from you, it was completely unnecessary. Considering that it was I that sabotaged your gift when Sulu told me you wished to remain alone, it should be I apologizing.”

Jim slapped his arm with little intent to harm. “Well then it’s your own damn fault.” Jim sighed and Spock could feel his melancholy through his uniform shirt but pushed his thumbs underneath them chasing the delicious spark and tingle they received whenever they touched. “It wasn’t even that great. I’ve just been so busy that I never had time to work on it. The past week I’ve spent a rushed hour here or there working on what was a terrible excuse for a sculpture.” Jim laughed and knocked his forehead on Spock’s chest. “It was supposed to be a rook, of all the dumb things and you couldn’t just listen to Sulu?”

Spock turned his face into the crook of Jim’s neck, pleased he could still smell himself on his intended, and nuzzled into the scent, spreading his own on Jim. “I wished to see you.”

Jim chuckled. “You have patience better than any being I have ever met, Mr. Spock on all but one thing.”

Spock left a wet kiss, teeth grazing, before he met his  _ T’hy’la _ ’s gaze in equal playfulness. “We have waited for so long in so many different ways,  _ ashyam _ , I have no desire for patience when it comes to you.”

Jim makes a face of amused doubt. “Oh? Maybe you should talk to the Spock I see in bed? He usually has a bit  _ too much _ patience, if you ask me.”

While Spock was aware that Jim was teasing himself about himself, there was a small spark of jealousy at the implication of another being with Jim, a  _ challenger _ , his mind supplies. His grip on Jim’s hips becomes needlessly stronger. “There is no need to play games,  _ taluhk _ , I know you enjoy stretching out our time together as well as the hastened release we frequently have.” Spock enjoyed the playfulness he felt from the man he thought of as his mate as well as the slowly growing arousal.

“Mmm. Yes, that is precious indeed. You know, I think we have enough time now for one of those hastened releases.”

“Yes, but not enough time for me to treat you as the precious creature you are,  _ taluhk _ .” Spock reluctantly pulls back from their very close embrace as Jim rakes his teeth over his grinning bottom lip and shakes his head in amusement. “Regardless, I do believe it would be inappropriate to be away from our posts for so long with sexual activities as our explanation.”

Jim moves his hands up and down Spock’s upper arms, and Jim knows he’s right but there is still some sorrow underneath peaking through. “It’s just… I wanted to wake you up this morning, I set my alarm early and everything, but you weren’t there.” Spock could definitely feel the regret for his actions this morning if Jim felt this way, even if he had hoped to allow for a better evening. “Then I ruined your present. I just… our first real Valentine’s has barely started and I feel like I’ve already ruined it.” His eyes got very wide and there was a short shock of terror before shame and concern swept over. “I didn’t even wish you a happy Valentine’s yet. Ugh, I’m the worst boyfriend.”

Spock sent soothing feelings through their touching skin. “It is the Terran holiday of Valentine’s Day? I was unaware.” He was rewarded by Jim’s laughter and feelings of his love for his small lie.

Jim grinned and moved his hands to cup Spock’s face. “Happy Valentine’s Day,  _ T’hy’la _ .” Spock could sense his intent to kiss him in a way in which would be wholly inappropriate given that they were on duty, in Jim’s office. Spock takes one more step back much to both of their disappointment and Jim’s narrowed gaze.

“I can clean up my present as it is my fault it is even in such a state and I will meet you in your quarters at 09:50. I would also like to apologize for my absence this morning. I rose rather early to prepare for your gift and to meditate so that I will not have to tonight.” Spock gave Jim’s hips a meaningful squeeze before letting them go. There was a sliver of guilt that he continued to raise Jim’s arousal when he knew he did not plan on taking him until that night. But Jim’s eyes dilated again and Spock was considering rethinking their schedule for the day. Or he could continue to tease his mate as planned.

“So… ‘your gift’? You have a gift for me?” Spock could sense a strange combination of anticipation, guilt, and glee. “Love, you really didn’t have to, and especially now when I don’t have anything for you. And I mean, this is our first Valentine’s together. We don’t have to do anything.”

Spock tilted his head in curiosity at his mate and elected to convince Jim that he would enjoy that which he had planned. “I chose to arrange a gift for you not out of duty or necessity but out of desire to acknowledge a part of our shared culture that you informed me you had never had the great opportunity for but the desire for as well. I frequently observed my Mother celebrating, however minimally, with my Father and my Father occasionally indulge her in return. I wish for our relationship to be a fitting culmination of both our backgrounds and the celebration of this day is from both of ours. I wish to celebrate my  _ T’hy’la _ and our bond. I will… indulge the desire to acknowledge it more publicly than usual.” Spock paused and attempted to think of more Terran terms to tease with. “Regardless, your gift will be the greatest… the best… est… the most… fabulous… present ever.”

Spock could feel the playfulness return as they were still in such close proximity and Jim lightly brushed his hand against Spock’s arm. “You cannot have it yet, so you will have to wait.”

“Oh? And why not?”

“It is not ready yet.”

Jim darted his eyes left to right and leaned in, “Is it ready now?”

Spock knew his eyes were smiling and he did not care. “Not yet.”

“How about now?”

“Do you wish to ruin the surprise?” Spock peaked a brow.

“Oh yes, of course.”

“I will not.”

“Oh come on, you ruined my gift to you  _ and _ your surprise.”

“I am sorry, but no.”

“Well I really think at this point you have to.” Jim eyes the smashed sculpture accusingly.

Spock turned his body slightly to the left, “No. I cannot. You will simply have to wait.”

Jim had his mouth open to continue their banter as Nyota’s voice rang through the communication console. “Captain, I the final approvals and communication details for Commander Ha’s diagnostics this leave.”

“Acknowledged.” Jim paused so the computer wouldn’t transmit their conversation and used his time to furnish his sarcastically formal look. “We’re not done here, Mr. Spock. I’ll expect you at my quarters at 9:50 exactly.” He put out his fingers for an  _ ozh’esta _ , which Spock had innocently believed would be much less lewd than it ended up being. Jim’s playful arousal sent him the message that he would continue to play the game if Spock would as well. Jim turned away much too soon leaving Spock to tamper his own arousal before cleaning up the broken sculpture. As he could see some distinct aspect of a chess piece in the rubble, Spock felt his heart swell in his side as it often did when he thought of Jim and he pulled on the betrothal bond they shared to make sure Jim was equally aware of his overwhelming love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey howdy hey were we lookin good? just tell me, c'mon, how bad was it???


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think the first half of this chapter might be the best part of this fic
> 
> also the random lieutenant is named after doug judy and the siblings judy because i was thinking about last week's episode of brooklyn nine nine

Spock was once more walking down the residency floors of _The Enterprise_ with a bag over his shoulder, however this one was the old canvas duffel bag Sybok had used during his occasional visits to his Mother with the other _Kolinahr_ masters at the P’Jem Sanctuary. With Spock, the bag had traveled much father and he is certain that his brother will inquire into what fascinating worlds it has seen when he next meets him, once more, with his ‘hand-me-down’ bag as their shared Mother would refer to it.

Spock approached his Captain’s door, requested entry and stood at parade rest as he affectionately caressed their shared betrothal bond now that he was close enough to do so. Spock felt himself expand on that affection when he recalled that Jim would refer to it as a ‘mental tickle’. He could hear Jim moving around in his quarters as well as the loud “Enter!” he yelled at the computer.

“Don’t come in! I know you’re on time, but I’m not, and _do not come in my bedroom_! I’m not done yet!”

Spock did not walk in much farther than the potted Andorian plant next to Jim’s desk but could see that Jim had been hastily packing. He was surprised as Jim told him on multiple occasions in the past few days he was ‘working on it’.

“You are not packed?”

“No… I just--ugh--just--just gimme a second. I’ll be fine!” Jim did not sound fine. Spock could feel his stress even from several yards away meaning that it must be rather overwhelming to Jim. Spock tried to send calmness towards his mate but he was also confused as to why he had not packed previously. Jim had always been prepared for other shore leaves they had taken together. Or was he? Prior to their relationship they would meet at the transporter as well as the first few shore leaves they had into their relationship. This was the first of their longer leaves in which Spock was to retrieve Jim at his quarters. And now that Spock considered it, he believed that Jim would frequently be late or the last one to arrive. His heart in his side ached for whatever stress this had caused his _T’hy’la_ and how no doubt his presence added shame to that as well.

Spock asked gently, “Would you care for assistance?”

Jim’s voice was high pitched and his speech was fast paced. “For you to help would mean you would have to come into my bedroom, and I specifically requested that you _not_ do that. Just--just-- _wait_ , _please_. Sit or something. I just--I just--I need--” There was heavy breathing and Spock approached the arch to Jim’s sleeping alcove with his eyes closed. He had calculated the route necessary but he was fairly certain he could have done so without them.

“ _Spock_! _What did I just_ \--”

Spock slightly raised his arms to gesture for an embrace enough for it to 1) not be exceedingly embarrassing and 2) more potentially retractable of a proposal than if he had lifted his arms higher. However such considerations were unnecessary as he heard Jim quickly make his way over to him and tuck his head into Spock’s chest and Spock pulled Jim in close.

“I’m sorry.” Spock heard him mumble. Jim picked up his head so he wasn’t talking to the ground. “I’ve.. been busy and I thought I would have more time for--for all of this and now it’s here and I don’t--” Jim slowed his breath down and Spock rubbed his hands up and down his back in the way in which he would see his Mother do so for Michael when she would be overwhelmed. “I’m sorry. I’m… sorry.”

“Jim, as you have already apologized, there is no need to continue doing so. I can feel your contrition and I had already forgiven you as I knew you were acting out of stress and not sincerity.”

“I am sincerely stressed and anyway I shouldn’t have been so aggressive so I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for not having any Valentine for you and you planned out our leave all by yourself and I’ve just… been a mess. So I’m sorry, you deserve better than that… better than m--”

“Please do not finish that sentence, _ashayam_.” Spock ceased rubbing Jim’s back and held him tighter to his chest. “I thank you for voicing your remorse for your actions when I entered your quarters but please do not get carried away with your remorse.”

Jim moved his head to Spock’s shoulder and for the short amount of time Spock saw his face, he could see his frown before Jim mumbled a soft and unconvincing, “Okay.” He pulled back and Spock reluctantly let him go. “Are you gonna tell me my gift now?”

“Perhaps if you complete your packing. Would you care for any assistance?”

Jim huffed a small laugh. “No. No, I just need to grab a few more things… If you could get my toiletries, if you wouldn’t mind--I mean, you don’t have to…”

“It would be no issue. Do you wish for me to close my eyes on the way to the bathroom?”

Jim had a heartier laugh at that and it warmed Spock. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just made a mess is all. A really bad, messy mess. I can clean up when we get back, so I wasn’t going to be too concerned over it.”

Spock gave Jim one last back rub and made his way into his and Jim’s shared bathroom which was as he had left it but in his peripheral vision, he could see clumps of clothes, some shoes, some of Jim’s more _private_ items all scattered _very_ messily. Spock was still uncertain as to why Jim would do this and why he had not started packing earlier but he decided to broach the subject much later in their leave. He desired to use this day specifically to calm and celebrate his mate away from his stressors. Spock gathered Jim’s various toiletries that he knew he used regularly and stored them in one of his own travel bags in the storage under the sink. Jim was still running around when he exited the bathroom but the suitcase appeared to be more full, albeit of clumped unfolded apparel. “Is there anything else you require, _tal-kam_?”

“I’m just looking for that one blue sweater of yours that I stole.”

“Ah. You had left it in my quarters, however I have packed it in my own bag.”

Jim turned to him with wide eyes. “Oh. Thanks. Uh, you have my toiletries?”

Spock lifted up the bag and Jim smiled and moved to grab it. “Thank you,” he said in a kind voice. He turned to place it in his bag and closed it, finally complete. Spock moved closer to Jim’s bed where he had been packing and quickly grabbed the handle of the Starfleet duffel before Jim could and left his sleeping alcove. “Hey! I could’ve gotten that you know!” Spock could hear Jim leave the room at a faster pace to catch up with him.

“I am aware. I just wish to help you ‘take a load off’ during our leave. This was simply the first opportunity.”

Jim walks down the corridor beside him at an even pace. “It's just--you don't _need_ to. I'm okay. I'll be fine.” Spock looked to him in a side glance halting Jim's attempts to grab the handle by joining it on his shoulder with his own duffel but continued to the turbolift.

“I have a different opinion but regardless, I wish to do this. I wish to honor _T'hy'la_ by caring for him in this and many other ways. I am aware that you are a being comprised of strength and power.” Spock lowered his voice even in the empty hallways. “I ask that you try to relinquish your need for strength in front of others in the upcoming week and rest.”

Jim looked to his feet now they were waiting for the lift and mumbled clearly enough that on some level he wanted Spock to hear. “Oh please, because I don't do that several times a month.”

Spock opened and closed his eyes in frustration once he stepped forward onto the lift, not wanting Jim to see his clearly unpleasing emotion. “Jim, I know you are aware I was not referring to sexual activities but given the discussions and negotiations we have engaged in, I had assumed that at this point you knew that my opinion of you would not waver regardless of our activities, what is said, or when you, as you say, ‘let your guard down’.” Jim got in the turbolift and Spock took a step closer to him. “I wish to support you in all ways, as I know you do for me. Each of us in positions of responsibility needs to put that to rest occasionally.”

Jim finally looked back up to him. “I rarely see you doing that.”

Spock lifted a hand to caress Jim's folded arms and said reverently, “ _Ashyam_ , I do not work to uphold the same emotional restraint around you as it is necessary for me to with others. You are my constant rest.” Spock sent his feelings of affection and pride along their bond which Jim responded to with a gasp and wet eyes. “Please, Jim.” He takes a step back and indicates their travel to the transporter. “Doctor McCoy informed me that you love surprises but detest the anticipation. I know myself that under certain circumstances you can get carried away with the promise of a gift, so I am looking forward to your gift’s final reveal. It should be quite spectacular.”

Jim let out a small huff if a laugh, trying to choke down his emotionality. “I don't think the crew needs to see 'ol Jimmy Kirk greedy as hell.”

“I would.”

Jim gave him a look of disbelief. “Yeah, because that's an attractive trait.”

Spock shifted his shoulder in a small shrug. “You rarely ask of anything outside of work orders and our sexual activities. You once described yourself as a ‘greedy lover’, which if true, I am interested in seeing you experience greed elsewhere as its supposed presence has never deterred me. If anything, I may find it desirable.”

Jim's face was very red and he turned his body slightly away from Spock, clearly wanting to leave the turbolift immediately. “Oh my god, Spock. You'll be the death of me.”

Spock took a large step closer to him as the lift arrived at their destination. “I do not understand.”

Jim was the one walking quickly down the corridor now, whispering behind him, “You! You and your penchant for drawing out gluttonous pleasure of all kinds. I swear, only someone raised in such a repressed society would be able to--to--”

Spock caught up with him quickly and bent close to his ear. “To draw out your own desires for 'gluttonous pleasure’.”

Jim seized and stopped abruptly, and Spock could tell he was failing to think of an appropriate response which he allowed Jim to sense his small amount of smugness over. Seemingly to win over Spock’s demeanor rather than any difference if opinion, Jim encased Spock's arms with his own hands. With a salacious look he said,“Speaking of, Mr. Spock, why don't you just tell me what this little gift is?”

Spock was aware that Jim would continue to use flirtation and sexuality as means of getting the information, but he would not falter. In this case, he simply continued down the hallway to the transporter at the slow pace to account for Jim's attachment to one of his arms. “Oh come on, please? Please please please? Won't you tell me? I'm just gonna keep bothering you and wipe that smug look off your face.”

When they turned into the transporter room Jim's face was bright but determined and they looked much like the ideal romantic couple their subordinates considered them to be. Waiting for them were Chapel and Nyota, off to the side very close to one another and not very work appropriate, Sulu talking about and sharing images of his family to an eager Chekov, and Scott harping on the Lieutenant that Commander Ha had stationed at the transporter for crew departure. Their family. Waiting for them.

Jim let out one last, “Please tell me!” just as they entered and all of their crew turned with smiles to greet them.

“Well that took you long enough, Captain! Were bout to leave without ya,” Scott huffed still leaning against the terminal.

“Yeah, if we could’ve dragged you away from harassing Lieutenant Judy long enough,” laughed Sulu.

“Oh, please. We’re not the last ones. I can’t believe Bones is this late but he can be one grumpy boy during Valentines.” Jim said beside Spock.

“Oh, McCoy already beamed down. We were just waiting on you.” Sulu’s eyes got wide when Jim’s body stiffened and Spock did not need to have a telepathic link with him to understand he was feeling shame and embarrassment. “It’s no problem though! We wanted to wait for the both of you!”

Nyota had already began to move to transport pad when she attempted to help save Sulu with a sly look to Spock. “Besides, it was all Spock, right? Double checking to see if you had all of your outfits planned, packed socks correctly, had enough toothpaste?”

“Haha, yeah, sure.” Jim had unfortunately let go of Spock’s arm and went to pull Scott away from the transporter attendant as the man was mumbling about using the correct settings for his new modifications. Everyone, including Spock, had shuffled into spots for beam down, positioning their bags and luggage comfortably. “Scotty, come on, you know Ha wouldn’t let anyone work on your stuff that hasn’t _thoroughly_ gone over your reports after the last disaster.”

“But, Captain--”

“Judy, you know what you’re doing?”

“Yes, sir.”

Jim nodded to Scott, “Good enough for me,” he said with a challenging look.

“Aye, Captain,” he mumbled.

A ghost of coldness went through Spock when he noticed with confusion that Jim began to feel mischievous. Jim then stood straighter.

“Are you ready kids?”

Spock exchanged glances with his crewmates and saw mixed faces of confusion but everyone seemed eager enough for leave to indulge whatever strange urge had come over their Captain. As such a murmur of “Aye aye, Captain,” had been shared among them.

Then Jim drew out in a teasing melody, “I can’t hear you.”

None of them were particularly impressed other than Chekov whom bellowed out “Aye aye, Captain!”

Before Jim had the chance to continue on Spock looked Lieutenant Judy in the eye and said, “Energize.” 

* * *

 “I don’t see why you had to be all weird about it,” Jim’s shoulders were slightly slumped now, so Spock held out the elbow closer to Jim to for him take. “I could’ve had us beamed down just fine.”

“That is true, but you were also being weird. While I did wish for it to end, it was the mutual discomfort of our friends that brought me to give the order. Do you wish to continue exploring the hotel, or would you rather have me take you closer to your gift?”

“Ugh, fine.” Jim sighed into Spock’s arm.

He raised an eyebrow in question.

“The gift, Spock, the gift! Spock was much more pleased to feel the laugh resonate on his own body than the previous sigh.

He guided them through the warm winds in the seaside semiurban streets closer to the water being able to smell the mineral rich ocean that reminded Spock vaguely of strawberries. The closer they got the more broken up the streets were due to the rocky coast. While it was warm out for Jim to have changed into a large white crop top with a red heart and shorts, Spock was more comfortable in his long sleeved and legged Vulcan drapery. Jim liked his tunic though, reminding him of Earth velvet, so he was trying to find flimsy excuses to touch him. More than their average time in public and out of uniform. The skies of Deiron VIII were bluer than the skies Spock was accustomed to on Terra but not the bluest he had ever seen and there were frequent patches of greens and yellows and pinks due to the unique makeup of the atmosphere.

They had soon arrived at the large wood-like structure that was to usher visitors down from the mountains through the coarse sands to the water. Jim however, was staring at the cliffs surrounding them.

“So is my present on top of one of these cliffs? Oh my god, are we going rock climbing later? Is that my gift?”

Spock said nothing but tilted his face in a way in which Jim would likely go investigate if he so desired it. Jim’s eyes went wide in the excitement and he bolted off to run up the sandy peak of the nearest peak. Spock waited patiently for his mate to eventually return to him. Jim finally reached the peak and looked among the other cliffs around them briefly before calling down to him.

“It’s not here is it?”

Spock attempted to keep Jim’s interest with his search by keeping his face and emotions as neutral as possible. “Are you sure?”

Which of course sparked a grin and a challenge in Jim, so he kept looking over the short but wide mountaintops. Spock is watching him try and get a closer look at the mountains on the other side of the large boardwalk when his own communicator informs him of a vid chat request from McCoy. Once the doctor’s indeed ‘grumpy’ face illuminates his communicator screen, Spock can also take a good look at the vessel they had arranged for him to charter. It was clean and civilian friendly but it looked as though McCoy had taken a pit stop somewhere this morning given that there was a large amount of chocolate that Spock could see over his shoulder in the luggage hold.

“Greetings, Doctor.”

“Uh, hey, big guy. Is Jimbo there?”

“No, he is currently looking for his gift.”

McCoy gave a small laugh and shook his head. “Of course he is. Well, I’ve got a visual on the carnival, you want me to bring this baby in?”

“No, we have not yet arrived. Are you amenable to circling around for the time being?”

“Yeah, no problem. I gotta keep my eye out for some local wildlife though, so just send me a message when you’re ready, okay?”

“Of course. I shall see you shortly.”

“Will do.” McCoy’s face turned to blackness when he heard Jim amble down the sandy mountainside.

“Okay, so I’m only pretty sure it’s not up there, Spock.” He shook off some sand from his shoes and walked back to him. “Was that Commander Ha? We still looking okay?”

“Ah, on my communicator? I had messaged Leonard to insure that he was well and he finally returned my inquiry.”

Jim stood still, slightly surprised. “Oh. And he’s okay?”

“Indeed. Now if you wish to continue, our destination is .783 miles ahead on the boardwalk.”

Jim walked closer to him and gave him a warm smile, “Sure.”

As they turned the corner several yards ahead Spock heard the return of Jim’s previous intentions. “So tell me what my gift is? Please, please, _please_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does any of this seem familiar to you yet?
> 
> me @ me on the "constant rest" part: whAt? the fUcK? You--you have nO RIghT


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, i just need star trek to be consistent with a mostly socialist economic structure, okay? Dont @ me
> 
> Also isn’t it hilarious that there’s no pockets in the future? Like what poor saps. Where do you put your hands? Chapstick? All your random styluses? I get that it’s /seemingly/ useless, but really, i’m a queer, u expect me to stand around doing nothing and do what with my hands, lay there?? Like sure it’s a meme that we cant sit straight but i cant fucking stand straight either

“You got me a carnival?” Jim’s chest was shaking and he was making his ‘not smile’ which ended up still looking like a smile. Somewhere in between the many hours of service together when Spock had watched him attempt to contort away a smile on duty it became a part of Jim as much of his other bright smiles were. And he always glowed golden even in these ‘not smiles’.

“It is not the carnival itself.”

“Aw, it’s a day at the carnival? That’s cute too, Spock.”

“It is not that either. However, I thought you might enjoy spending the day at the carnival. It is possible that some of our friends may be here over the next few hours as well.”

At which Jim actually did laugh, deep and round. “Oh great, a double date with the Sulus at the carnival. Demora will love it.”

Spock had been hoping to simply spend time with Jim and then McCoy as well, but he did enjoy the brief moments with Demora Sulu he had. He even enjoyed the occasion in which he and Jim had watched her while Sulu and his husband, Ben, were ‘on a date’ last year. It was not that the concept sounded unappealing now as he was considering it, but Spock essentially has a certain amount of energy allocated to social interactions each day and he had not prepared for such an event, particularly in an unusual area filled with strangers. He would have to continue to weight the pros and cons as the morning wore on if the need would arise for a decision.

“Uh, Spock, we really don’t need to. It’s not a big deal. I’m sure they’ll love to spend time with just the three of them just as much as I’d like to spend time with just the two of us.”

“I am still uncertain.”

“Look, we can babysit Demora again later this week if you let me leave bed anytime after tonight.”

There was something deep in Spock’s chest that preened at the idea of pleasuring his mate so successfully and he allowed the light growl to come out.

Jim laughed as the rumble emerged. “So what are your plans for us at my carnival?”

Spock was thankful for the fact that modern Vulcan fashion included pockets unlike most Federation Standard clothing as Deiron VIII had an economy system that still used credit chips. They were new to the Federation and a socialist economic structure so while businesses did not actually receive revenue from their customers, they would be compensated for their goods used and the government issued credits are essentially considered to be a vote of confidence in a business. The entire system was confusing, yet fascinating. Spock pulled out one of their credit chips as Jim had no pockets to put them. “I imagined we would eat lunch first.”

“Oooo… I wonder if they have cotton candy.”

“I will not be eating cotton candy, although you may have some if you would like that as your gift.”

“Oh I would gladly add on you getting high on cotton candy as a part of my gift.”

“It would be your cotton candy and it would be as a replacement gift.”

“Oh, so my gift is bad enough that you want to replace it with cotton candy at first chance?”

“No, it is that it is a food that is so unhealthy for you it might be comparable to the degree of kindness going into your actual gift.”

A sharp bark of laughter came out before Jim pulled Spock towards the food vendors. “I’m sure it is but why don’t we get some actual veggies in you before I drug you.”

“So if it’s not cotton candy than what is it?”

They had just finished up disposing of their food and it had been unusually difficult to get Jim to eat an actual meal for shore leave, which Spock did not like given that he was uncertain that he had eaten breakfast and how Jim had struggled with his eating habits during their five year mission. It had gotten worse since last year when they encountered his past tormentor, Kodos, and it was not always helpful when the good doctor would have his own commentary on Jim’s eating habits. It seemed right now that his food evasion was related to the stress he was under. Spock was aware that it could take some time for Jim to adjust from long periods of moderate to severe stress to minimal stress.

Jim was humming low, inspecting the nearby attractions, “Is it that… tent?”

“No.”

“That dog?”

“No.”

“That flag?”

“No.”

“You’re a sly one, Mr. Spock. If it’s not in this part of the carnival… it must be somewhere else. Mmmm… Oh look, there’s Uhura, without her face attached to Chapel’s.” Jim’s eyes became slivers. “I wonder if _she_ knows.”

“You may wonder.”

“And if I wonder over by her?”

“I do not see why not.”

“Mmm. We’ll see.” Jim continued to give him a suspicious look over his shoulder while he was certainly only going to attempt to steal some of Chapel’s cotton candy. Spock doubted his success given Nyota’s own looked to be dubious but he would take the opportunity to message McCoy.

Only to find several unread messages.

 

_Small problem over here. Probably just a short delay_

_well these birdies are aggravating as a rock_

_sos fuckin ducks are having a dying duck fit_

_FUcking call me_

 

Spock quickly looked to ascertain that Jim was still busy with Nyota and Christine, and still without any cotton candy, and sent a audio message request. There was a shuffle of movement and English curses before he finally heard the doctor’s voice.

“Spock! Finally! I’ve mostly got this under control. I flew right into a flock of those Visermas Finches! They’re tearing up the outside. It’s gonna be hard for them to get through but they’re pitchin a fit! I’m just--I’m gonna be a little late!”

Spock looked over to Jim, concerned about the surety of the gift that he had planned so closely and worked so hard to convince McCoy, uneasy with flight and flying vessels to take the lead on piloting it, even if it was on autopilot.

“Thank you for the update. I apologize for my late reply. Do you know how late you might be?”

“I dunno yet, but you should take him over to the Ferris wheel already.”

“You are certain?”

“I’ll be there, okay! If you don’t see me up there, you’ll see me eventually, okay?

“Affirmative. Stay safe, Leonard.”

“Yeah, yeah. Over and out.”

There was a feeling of stress that had settled somewhere under his rib cage and above Spock’s heart and a concern over stretching out Jim’s gift even more over the next few hours. He looked back to his mate whom was looking at Spock clearly trying to discern if he was finished with his communication, rocking back and forth in question. Spock nodded and Jim quickly grabbed a handful of cotton candy before running over to him.

“Let’s hustle. Don’t want Christine chasing after me. She’ll take me out and scoop you right up.”

“Somehow I do not think she would be able to lift me given my higher bone density and the way in which I have observed her struggling with heavy objects in the past.”

Jim laughed around some of the fluffy food. “Spock, she probably wanted to have you be gallant and pick it up for her. I do it all the time. Also, I think your strength is really hot.”

“I do recall her previous interest, but I was unaware that that was what she might have desired.”

“You did not pick up anything of hers. Boxes, feelings, desires. Not until she shoved it right in your hands that is.”

As much as Spock could make easy conversation about Jim’s joke, he did not enjoy making light of what he considered to have been sexual assault. Even if Nurse Chapel had been incapable of consenting herself during the Psi 2000 incident, and even though at the time she was unaware of the significance socially and physically of hand touching to Vulcans at the time, he could feel the stress grow from above his heart to encasing his chest and wrapping around the base of his neck.

“Spock?” Of course Jim could feel that. He did not try to keep much from him, but this he did not want to burden with his mate, not when it was Christine, their _friend_ . A hand landed on his chest and all Spock could allow himself to think was how thankful he was that it was not the hand previously covered in sticky sugar. His soft voice appeared with the fast paced guilt Jim frequently had, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I didn’t--I’m so so sorry. Oh god.” Jim began move away from him a lift his hand when Spock placed his own over Jim’s in an unusual and forward display of his own, but he always found his _T’hy’la_ ’s presence calming. Spock closed his eyes and considered a few meditative mantras and focused on Jim and their bond, the way in which Jim always knew when it was acceptable and unacceptable to touch his hands, how they felt, the electric pull, but mostly he thought of the way in which Spock could feel his love, soft, powerful, resilient, just underneath in own skin and so much more clearly than just through their fledgling bond. He corrected his breathing pattern and opened his eyes to Jim’s wide concerned ones, beautiful as the first time he had seen him glowing like the sun and practically vibrating with emotion. Spock caressed the hand underneath his own with his pointer and middle fingers sending his unadulterated forgiveness and appreciation towards his mate. Jim’s eyes were still watery with tears hoping to kiss his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“ _T’hy’la_ , you are forgiven, though I do request that you be more careful with the references to such incidents.”

“I was honestly was just trying wordplay and thinking about boxes, but I should’ve--I’m so sorry.”

“Again, I accept your apology and I have recovered with your assistance. Please do not be overly concerned.”

Jim sighed and his shoulders followed in the downturn of the pitch of voice. “Okay.”

“What if I told you your present was on top of the Ferris wheel?”

Jim scoffed and stepped back a little. Spock allowed his hand to slip out from under his own. “Ferris wheel?”

“Indeed.”

“Well at least I know it’ll be some view with you.”

Spock sent a wave of affection back to his mate and they went to look for a hand sanitizing station to remove the sticky residue from Jim’s hands as Spock covertly checked his communicator for updates from McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jim rn: ⭐🧤💦 don't touch me i'm sterile
> 
> isn’t weird when the people you love are the ones that trigger you but also the ones that help you down


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay im posting this chapter unfinished because i got up at 5am and i got off work at 10pm and im falling asleep at my chair. it's mostly finished, i just wanted a longer end scene, but here we are and my fishnets need to come. off.
> 
> anywqy that's where the spongebob ep ends, so really who gives a fuck

“I'm ready for the greatest Valentine's present in the whole universe now, Spock.”

Spock looked out at the expanse of mountaintops from the topmost point of the Ferris wheel, now understanding why Jim couldn’t see the carnival when he looked from the peak he was atop earlier. Not only was the visibility low due to the differing shades of the sky but the cliffs made it difficult to see very far either. Without word from McCoy other than the occasional, “be there” message, Spock was uncertain he would appear.

“Well this is where you’ll receive it.”  _ I hope _ . “Just keep looking out on the horizon,  _ tal-kam _ .” Spock assured himself that Jim’s focus was indeed on the skies, looking out around them at one of his favorite sights, mountains. Spock could feel Jim’s bursting excitement and pleasure as well as his overwhelming anticipation. It was gripping. It was then that he pulled out his communicator to see new messages coming in from McCoy.

 

_ i’ve got my ox in a ditch here. way off course _

_ the bastards are eating the ship they're everywhere _

_ Switch to plan B! _

 

_ Plan B _ ? While Spock was familiar with the term, he had to stop the feeling of disappointment and dread creeping in from his bond with his betrothed. Spock eyed Jim and was thinking through all the excuses, all the potential Plan B’s but nothing was coming to mind as he watched Jim rock back and forth in their carriage, smiling brighter than Spock had seen in weeks. Through their bond Spock could feel exactly what Jim was expecting from this gift because when had Spock ever allowed for doubt to enter into his mind? Spock knew that he was allowed failings and disappointments in their relationship but he had wanted this to be that. This past year had been so difficult for Jim, regardless of their getting together. If Spock was honest with himself, this past year might have been the most successful aside from their first in the five year mission, but their work was never easy. Jim enjoyed it and it fit him well but he was still burdened by the Captaincy and he had yet to acclimate to what sharing that burden might be for them. Spock blinked slowly before he had to ruin the unfiltered joy Jim was emanating. Spock raised his hand.

“Jim?”

“Yeah!”

“Here is your gift.”

Jim’s body snaps over so fast and forcefully it rocks their carriage once more. His eyes are bright, trying to take everything in.

“What is it?”

Spock raises his hand higher for an  _ ozh’esta _ , “It is a kiss. A loving kiss.”

Jim’s smile falters a bit and he goes back and forth from staring at his face and his outstretched hand.

“A kiss… ? That’s… the big gift? A kiss?”

“A loving kiss. Happy Valentine’s Day,  _ ashalik _ .”

Jim meets his own fingers and Spock can already feel the disappointment mounting and overpowering the confusion he know will persist until Leonard arrives. Spock will not accept the possibility that he will not arrive.

* * *

It is 2.8396 hours later and while he has been getting updates from McCoy, Spock is uncertain he will arrive before Jim decides he wishes to leave.  _ And never speak to you again _ , a small part of his mind supplies. Spock had hoped to entertain him with some of the other attractions but since the Ferris wheel he has not been able to rouse the usual interest. Chekov and Scott were unable to do so when they encountered them, more cotton candy did not interest him, nor did Spock potentially consuming it. Jim was simply unresponsive and Spock was ultimately confused by his many emotions. While it was true that Vulcans felt more deeply than Humans, Humans usually had complex relationships between emotions. Vulcans would feel one, maybe three emotions at once, Spock himself had recorded five emotions at once in his life so far. Yet Jim was feeling disappointed, ashamed, guilty, repulsion, anger, confusion, sadness, frustration, and some others that Spock had been unable to identify in part due to their symphonic quality but especially because Jim was closing off physically and telepathically, which was both mentally and physically painful.

Spock felt regret.

Jim was seated next to him on a bench that Spock had decided to wait on while Jim went to relieve himself in one of the on site facilities. Spock had thought they would depart for elsewhere in the carnival, but Jim just sat down on the other side of the bench with a huff, pointedly not speaking, looking, or touching Spock in any way. He was unsure of what to do with himself and had been checking his communicator for the occasional “ _ back on track _ ”, “ _ keep jim busy _ ”, or “ _ almost there _ ” from Leonard but had not seen him on what little he could see of the horizon. Acutely aware of Jim’s movements as he was, Spock noticed the heavy sigh he made and repositioned himself from looking at his hands to looking at Spock.

“So I’ve been thinking. Since I ruined both of Valentine’s gifts--”

“Hey, Spock! Thanks for the chocolates!” The Sulus seemed to have finally encountered them and the man yelled from the face painting booth where he and Ben were trying to wrangle Demora from destroying with her swaying legs as she happily got her face painted.

As each of them were seemingly busy to the other, Spock replied with a hand wave and projected his voice towards him in reply. “It is no problem.”

Jim cleared his throat and continued, “--and even if we put too much into everything this year--”

“Thank you for the dinner reservation for Nyota and I, Spock! Happy Valentine’s Day.” Nyota waved from in front of them, making her way to join the Sulus and Spock could feel the light weight of Christine’s hands on his shoulders lift away as quickly as they landed as she joined Nyota.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to you as well, Christine.”

Jim’s voice had an edge to it that it usually did when he happened to be continually interrupted, “--and even if we have been together for a while, been friends for ages,  _ are practically engaged _ \--”

A throat was cleared next to Spock’s head and all he could think was  _ oh no _ as he turned his body to be met by the view of Lieutenant Charlene Masters whom he had never seen out of uniform but wore a bright yellow dress that complimented her brown skin in a pleasant way. She was standing at attention and delivered her report in the casual yet professional way many of Spock’s Human colleagues do.

“Excuse me, Commander Spock, but I just wanted to thank you for the arrangements you made for Janice and I over shore leave. We had a really lovely time this morning in the city and we just came down to the carnival to spend time with some of the rest of the crew. I’m really excited to explore all the nightlife. Anyway, have a happy Valentine’s Day, Commander!” She gave a small headnod and left to join Yeoman Rand at a game booth a few feet away.

Spock slowly turned back to Jim, clearly mad by all the interruptions and glaring at him. His voice was smooth and barely collected. “So as I was saying--”

“Excuse me, do either of you have the time?”

“Are you serious, Spock?!” Spock was uncertain whom had tried to speak with them but Jim was clearly not going to be interrupted anymore. Spock was rooted to his seat even more so. Jim often expressed his anger and frustrations in their fights or disagreements when he felt them as strongly as he obviously did now. Usually during fights they would wait until either of them were in a more calm state to discuss, but occasionally… the urgency of emotionalism got the better of them. “You barely fucking know Masters, and you got her a city getaway for Valentine’s? WHat the fuck? Did you get something for everyone except me? Is this just some fucked up way to make fun of me?”

“Jim…” Spock was looking at the notice they were garnering from those nearby, illogically hoping that in a diagnostic scan, Lieutenant Judy would make a mistake with one of Mr. Scott’s new modifications and beam them up to at least in front of only Judy themself. Spock did not like getting yelled at in front of others and especially their crew given the various power dynamics. Also Spock could see Ben covering Demora’s ears at Jim’s cursing.

“No! Don’t ‘ _ Jim _ ’ me!” Spock’s eyes widened when he got up and became more physical in his rant. “Look, I know I ruined your gift,  _ I’m sorry _ ! Okay, I get it! James Kirk’s a fucking idiot and a fool for thinking you wanted anything to do with this godawful holiday! But you don’t get to play the part of the good guy when  _ all _ you’ve done today was set me up to push me down! What the actual  _ fuck _ , Spock. You don’t get to--to--argh!” He dropped his head to his hands and pulled on his hair. Spock rose from his seat and tried to remove his hands when they went in digging in what could not have been painless but Jim tore them away himself to near snarl at Spock. “ _ You don’t get to fucking do that _ . You knew what you were doing! Making me  _ want _ something, ‘ _ taking care of me _ ’, being fake vulnerable just to get me vulnerable and hurt me where it counted. I can’t fucking believe this! Is this your way of an amusing breakup? Or do  _ you _ think it’s  _ perfectly logical _ to be a  _ manipulative bastard _ to your partner? What the fuck, Spock!” Everything drained out of Jim when he whispered, “You broke my heart, Spock.” Then a quiet rage returned behind his eyes. “You better leave before I break something of yours.”

Spock whispered as closely to him as he dared. “James, James, I know I deserve this, but please, if you would wait--”

“No, I think it’s too late for that now.” Jim spoke dangerously and held his gaze before walking around Spock and past him, making his way out of the carnival. Just beyond the last tent however, Spock could see the vessel he had arranged for, badly damaged, but gently move to touch down near the food vendors.

“Leonard,” Spock whispered and was rooted to the spot for only a moment before he turned around and ran after Jim. “James!  _ Jim _ !” It did not take him long to locate Jim but he would not let Spock touch him. Jim would not listen to him either. “Please Jim, it is here. It has just arrived. Your gift. The best Valentine in the whole universe is right behind us.” Spock kept looking behind them to see if the doctor had exited the shuttle yet.

“Sure it is, Spock.” Jim still walked on and Spock kept following him.

“I am honest, it is right here, in the carnival. It is right behind us, if you will just turn around I can take you there.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Jim, please just turn around.”

Jim turned on him with the same heat in his eyes he had a moment ago. “You must think I’m pretty stupid, don’t you? Go along with you and what? You’ll sweep me off my feet? What will you do if you don’t kidnap me?”

“James I do not think you are stupid, I--”

Jim huffed him off and continued to stalk away.

“Please, Jim!”

“No.”

“James--”

“Oh, do you really  _ not _ care about my consent then?”

“ _ James _ .”

Jim stopped again and without looking at him said, “I’m just gonna say this once and I’m never going to say it again, so pay attention. I am  _ not _ , I repeat,  **_not_ ** , going to turn around or go with you for any reason,  _ ever _ .”

“Howdy, Jimbo.” Spock blinks his eyes in relief after Jim turned in surprise at the drawl of his friend’s greeting.

“Hey, Bones… What? Are you doing?”

“Oh just spending some time at the carnival. They got some chocolate type food on a stick that has what tastes exactly like mint in the middle. But it’s some sorta vine? In the words of your ever loving Vulcan, I’d say they’re pretty fascinating.”

“I wouldn’t say he’s my every loving anything. You see, we’re done here.”

“Scuse me, but  _ what _ ?! That’s not--you can’t be--aren’t you two forever or something?”

“Different cultures have different opinions on forever, Bones. Time is subjective. Now why don’t we go into town and you can show me where you’re staying then get some drinks?”

“Uh… Actually, I kinda wanted to show you something here before we left?” McCoy was clearly disturbed by the repercussions of Spock’s work to keep Jim at the only acceptable rendezvous point in the town.

Jim sighed, cast a glare a Spock, and said, “Fine.”

Leonard cast an incredulous face to Spock where half of his upper lip rose around a frown, his eyebrow raised, and his left hand rose, all in question, clearly. They all followed Jim and then McCoy took the lead when Jim realized he wasn’t sure where they were going. Just beyond one column of vendors was a lot where there had apparently been a storage area for one of the game booths according to the sign present. It was now filled with the beaten up, feather covered vessel that McCoy must have traveled in. Jim had stopped walking so angrily abruptly that Spock had to halt as well given that he was giving his  _ T'hy'la _ space.

“Bones? What the hell is this?”

“Oh, nothin. Just somethin Spock and I cooked up a couple'la weeks ago.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just come on up.”

Jim's hands moved about it confusion before scrambling after McCoy. “Bones, you can't possibly have brought this. You can barely drive a stationary bike!”

From where Spock was following behind he heard a muffled, “I resent that!” in reply.

Once inside the seating area, Spock could see the pilot leaning against the hull on her own communicator. There was very little damage to the inside of the ship, a few of the overhead luggage storage rails were compromised and one of the windows was cracked, but Spock could see that both occupants and the chocolate that the doctor had procured were undamaged, so he was not concerned. The shuttle had the walls that Spock had seen minimally over the comm with McCoy, but he could now see the lush seats arranged for a social gathering and for gazing out the large windows across from them. Spock turned to their disheveled blue-skinned pilot, “Mx. Henroona, have you contacted your superiors?”

“Yes, they would have preferred that we had had an emergency landing and sent a retrieval ship, but this one was adamant we arrive here, close to as time as possible.” She waved her comm slightly. “They’re already on their way.”

“I thank you for your exemplary service.” She simply nodded her head.

Jim had moved closer to Leonard and he could tell they were speaking as soft as they could, hoping that Spock would not be able to overhear.

“What do you mean this is my gift?  _ Bones _ ?”

“Look, Spock cooked it up a while back, sightseeing tour over the beautiful planet, even fit in that stuff with rocks you like, he asked if I wanted in cuz I threw around the half suggestion about doing touristy stuff. But this is nice! Apparently geologists and dignitaries do this kind of thing… or newly wedded couples. It’s supposed to be classy! And traditional culture! Observe the earth type stuff. Spock’s really just humoring me letting me tag along.”

Jim was very quiet for a moment, looking out the window to the backs of game booths, watching employees catch fallen fruits. He then looked at Spock, surveyed him, attempting to scan for information by Spock’s state of being much like the first time they met. Then Spock felt the first tendril along their bond for the first time in hours, experimental. Spock let out a sharp breath and gently met the beautiful mind dancing against his own. Jim would touch his mind briefly, Spock would caress the spot he had just vacated and let Jim be aware of this. Jim would stay longer and longer and longer and Spock would linger and longer until their minds were touching one another. Jim’s investigating, apologizing, looking for truths. Spock’s basking in anything Jim would allow. From across the room Spock whispered loud enough for Jim to hear, “Happy Valentine’s Day,  _ T’hy’la _ .”

At a similar volume, Jim replied, “My Valentine? Really, Spock, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow i'll probably post more on this chapter and the slightly sexy smutty, totally spirky epilogue. or maybe i'll just end it here, this fic is terrible okay? this ain't ibsen
> 
> just made the cut for valentine's aw yeah. happy valentine's to you all and to me and good sleep tight


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh no there's a fight. but also cutesy shit and sexy times so you're welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter wearing my patrick with a plank of wood nailed to his forehead boxers!
> 
> These guys just wanted a sexy weekend full of sex, how could i do this to them? Also sorry for being like 4 and half months too late. Work’s been hell but i’m back. Also i’m quitting. So fuck them and their minimum wage

Spock could feel the warm breeze on his thighs peeking out from under the silken sheets of his temporary bed. He let out a small growl at noticing that his mate was not laid on his chest as he was when they had drifted off after a late afternoon romp… 1.25 hours earlier. Spock rolled over and clutched at the sheets to try and locate him, but when it yielded unwanted results, Spock sat up and looked around their room.

He could see the chocolates and whiskey that they had indulged in earlier that evening on the table in front of their bed. The chocolate that McCoy had procured him was much more enjoyable than his original gift of nuts, and while a slightly drunk Jim kept trying to steal his dark chocolates because “they go so good together!” Spock recalled Jim being closed off and embarrassed but it was quickly overshadowed by how ‘handsy’ each of them became while under the influence together. There was an a mission a few months previous in which there was an event where Spock and his Captain were captured and were unintentionally drugged by a local fruit that had no effect for the native species, but instead acted more like an alcoholic substance on Humanoids. The following mission debriefings and reports were rather unpleasant, especially considering that the crew had been largely unaware of their relationship previously.

Given the amount of the intoxicants that he ingested, Spock is unsurprised at the amount of control that he had regained in the hour and a half he was unconscious, but he still gets up slowly and has some difficulty pulling on his bond to locate Jim. As he looked to the large windowed doors to his left, Spock could see a  _ T'hy'la _ shaped silhouette against the billowing sheer pink curtains. They looked just as soft as everything else in their room, but there was only one soft pink thing that Spock truly wanted to touch.

Spock treaded quietly on the soft woodplanks towards the door to the balcony and paused to look at Jim before deciding he did not like the pensive, anxious look on his face and the way in which he was hugging himself. To provide some comfort to his mate, particularly during a time in which Spock had planned to assuage his pressures and anxieties, Spock slowly made his way to behind Jim’s back and wrapped his arms around him even more slowly, wanting not to startle him. He caressed both their bond and his sides before resting his hands on his lower stomach, covering his bellybutton peeking out from above his boxer briefs and underneath his chiffon robe. Jim sent warmth in return over their bond and moved his neck to the right so Spock could place his own head where he could pick up his mate’s smell the strongest in this position. A smell even more intoxicating than any of the chocolates Leonard had procured for him that Spock nosed at the shoulder of Jim’s robe to access more of his skin as his greedy hands moved up his chest. Spock could feel the beginnings of Jim’s sigh before he let it out but was surprised by the following laugh. While he always enjoyed Jim’s laughter, it frequently confused him why he laughed at certain times.

“Spock, I--ugh”

Spock began running his own rough tongue over his mate’s shoulder and neck, paying particular attention to the places where he had already left marks, and lead up to the enticing curve of his ear, mouthing around the ear and grazing it with his teeth. His hands had moved up his chest, pushing the robe and using his sensitive fingertips against Jim’s own sensitive nipples, lightly twisting the left as he pinched the right.

“Oh--oh--um, okay. Spock, I need you--” Jim took a deep breath and placed his hands heavily on Spock’s wrists.

“I am sure I can appease your needs,  _ taluhk _ ”

Jim took another deep breath before he pulled on Spock’s arms to lift away from him, knowing that while he could not make Spock move that he would follow his request and pulled back his face to watch him. Jim turned his body around in Spock’s embrace, making space between them so they could see each other. Spock altered his hold so that his hands lay against the small of Jim’s back underneath his robe which continued to tantalize the tops of his hands and Jim rested his own against Spock’s shoulders.

“I actually need to talk to you.” Jim was looking up at him from underneath his eyelashes and Spock could pick up a sense of shame and guilt that did not come through his facial expression. “I was terrible earlier today, and I just--I need to apologize. I’m sorry. I was just really really out of line. I’m sorry I embarrassed both of us in front of our crew and I love you, but I think you…” Jim looked off to Spock’s left at the balcony door. “I think I should take a step back. Maybe.”

Spock’s body ran at a colder temperature than mono-species Humans but was incapable himself of noticing a difference given the infrequency he touched and was touched by others. Now, however, he truly did feel like ice water ran through his veins as the Doctor has said.

His grasp on Jim’s hips became unintentionally more forceful and he could not force himself to lessen it.

“No.”

Jim finally looked back at him with sad eyes and a frustrated face.

“I will not leave you or change the parameters of our relationship simply because of an understandable outburst provoked by anxieties and insecurities after a long period of work with no reprieve.”

“But Spock, it’s not just that.”

“I did not create an appropriate setting for our first day of leave and our first Valentine’s Day. I believe each of us has put too much emphasis on things going a certain way and we have failed to execute a perfect Valentine’s. There is nothing wrong with that, Jim. We can continue to improve our relationship. I believe we should focus more on it in the coming months actually.”

“Spock, I have issues, okay! I mean, we all do, but haven’t you noticed? I’ve just--I’ve been more messed up lately. Hell, I’ve been having difficulty communicating the way I usually do. I can’t find the right words, I can’t--I--” Jim rolled his eyes, “I can’t finish a thought. I have trouble doing that.”

Spock was taken aback but he could identify exactly what Jim was referring to. He had assumed it was simply anxiety and burnout, but had he not noticed his  _ T’hy’la _ ’s suffering?

“I just… I need to talk to Bones and probably start seeing the new on psych on board. I just--I can’t do anything right anymore. I ruined your shitty gift, I yelled at you, I’m not sure how to act around you, Spock, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, this isn’t--this isn’t--I’m not usually--” Jim was starting to breath heavily and shallowly, hyperventilating, so Spock pulled him close, cocooning his ribcage, and held him securely but lightly against his chest in an attempt to calm him. Jim’s own arms floundered for a moment before he wrapped them tightly around his neck. “It’s never been like this before, Spock and I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.”

Spock held Jim tighter and closed his eyes, working to keep his own complicated emotions mostly to himself as they stood together until Jim had calmed down from the panic that had risen within him. Spock cautiously pulled back and put a hand on Jim’s cheek when he tried to turn away from him to hide his tears that Spock now brushed away.

“If you do in fact need space, Jim, I will acquiesce. But I would like to voice the opinion that I would prefer to become closer during this time. A Vulcan does not abandon their mate when they are struggling and it is even more distasteful as you are my  _ T’hyla _ . I wish to serve and support you in whatever way you need, but I ask that I be able to do so while still at your side. I do not want you to isolate yourself or push me away, Jim. I believe we can become stronger from this.”

Jim closed his eyes but pushed his face farther into Spock’s hand. “But what if we don’t? What if things get worse between us, Spock?”

“I do not think that would be possible.”

Jim blinked his eyes open in surprise. “That’s awful  optimistic.”

“Jim, I am uncertain you understand the entirety of our bond.”

“I suppose you could say that.”

“A  _ T’hy’la _ bond is one that cannot be ignored, damaged without outside interference, or broken. There would have been no circumstances for us to not join together in our relationship once we met. Our bond is resilient in death as much so in life. There is a reason beyond Surak being the product of a  _ T’hy’la _ bond that a bond such as ours is considered sacred in my culture. There is none other like it. There is no struggle that you face that is not also mine, and I am aware you feel the same. That is no coincidence. I know we cannot fail together because there are 498,923 years worth of documentation that I myself have gone through on the resilience and strength of a  _ T’hy’la _ bond.”

“But Spock, what if we don’t succeed? Wouldn’t that make it worse? I’d rather we take a break and not risk it.”

“Yet I consider ‘taking a break’ to be a risk on the health of our relationship.”

Jim broke away from his hand. “Really, Spock?”

“What would you need from me for us to not halt our relationship?”

“I dunno, Spock. I always feel pressure to keep up this perfect performance around you. I mean you saw my room earlier today. It’s actually like that, but everywhere, and all the time. I don’t like you seeing that. It’s embarrassing.”

“Jim--”

“So that. I need to not feel like that around you. Not that I know how to change that.”

“I will not judge you based on your struggles, Jim. I would also like to offer assistance in keeping your things in order if that is what you need.”

“But it’s gross, Spock. I’m gross--like hygienically.”

“Jim, I am aware that these issues have not actually affected your cleaning of your body, but even if they did, it would not ‘gross me out’. Regardless, I believe that this conversation should be more focused on your comforts and needs than my own.”

Jim was looking at him, clearly thinking, brow furrowed but Spock posed another question. “Jim, why are you feeling this way? Is it work? Is it our relationship? A recent mission?”

“I don’t know really for certain. You know things have been strained with my family since Denva… and I guess it’s gotten slowly, slowly worse. That message I got from my parents a month ago about Peter really messed me up, and I never really processed everything with--with Kodos.” Jim paused and Spock readjusted his body so that his face was in Jim’s line of sight and he continued. “I just always knew I had issues and I never really got a chance to address them while on the ship. As Captain you never really have the time to, which I wish someone had mentioned to me before my inaugural Captaincy.”

“What if you took an extended medical leave for light duty and Leonard and I assisted you with addressing some of the more tangible issues you have been having.”

“Spock, I couldn’t do that to the both of you.”

“I believe I have already stated that it is always my intention to do so as your mate, and I believe the good doctor would agree that it is his duty as your friend. I know you would do the same for either of us.”

“I just don’t want to exchange my health for yours.”

“We could consider a training period for Lieutenant Sulu in the position of First Officer during your leave. He has spoken of his interests in furthering his career in the near future and would likely prefer an opportunity in which no one is displaced and his attentions and responsibilities would be sworn away from his family. I will also schedule bimonthly appointments with Dr. Noel as I admit to having neglecting my own mental health since the beginning of our mission. I would also be open to counseling sessions with you if it would help the continuation of our relationship.”

Jim pulled away from him and looked off the balcony. Now Spock took the time to look out their stunning view that he had seen images of while choosing the location. The city could be seen from the second level of the bungalow that was located as close to the dunes as environmentally safe. The town could be seen above the native plants and the shore could be smelled better than it could be heard, obscured by the dunes. Spock knew Jim desired isolation during most shore leaves, and now he wondered if that itself should have been a sign of mental health issues. Was it indeed to recharge as he said, or was it just the beginnings of a large desire to retreat?

“Okay.”

Spock’s head snapped so quickly to Jim on his right he could hear the movement of the air.

“I’m willing to give it a try. Being open about being a mess with you and Bones, lightening up on work, working on our communication.” Jim turned back to Spock. “We’re not going to move in together, though. At least not anytime soon. But… I like the idea of this sticking around longer.”

Spock walked up to Jim and stood very close, searching his eyes for his sincerity and their bond for any of his doubts. He then bent down and lifted Jim into a hug with his right arm on his thighs and his left arm keeping his  _ taluhk-wuh _ as close to his chest as possible. Jim giggled when Spock lifted him up but Spock’s sense of relief was much more somber and rested his head on Jim’s chest, flooding their bond with his gratitude and leaving soft kisses wherever he could reach. Jim’s own hands were running through his hair, pressing him even closer to his chest.

“Sweetheart.” Jim was pulling on his hair lightly to gather his attention but Spock was rewarded with a smile. “Take me to bed.”

Spock let out a growl and Jim continued to laugh as he changed his grasp to hold him underneath his thighs. Jim was the one that brought their lips together and Spock walked them back to the bed while his hands crept up towards his mate’s most generous body part. He carefully placed him down on the sheets and crawled on top of a grinning Jim.

“I mean if anything, this would have been the worst sacrifice for sure.”

Spock paused his dragging of Jim’s robe off his shoulders at his statement. “The lack of a presence of a sexual relationship would be the true downfall of a separation between us? Not a romantic relationship?”   


“Oh come on, like you could stop loving me. You would stop fucking me though and that would suck. I know neither of us will stop loving the other, but sacrificing  _ this _ during our prime sexually active years would’ve been a shame.”

Spock blinked and continued to divest Jim of his minimal clothing. “I believe this a moment in which we have differing viewpoints.”

“Oh please, you love this more than I--ah--ah”

Spock was thankful that his mate was finally hyperventilating for pleasurable reasons as he sucked hickeys all along his chest, pointedly avoiding his favorite sensitive points and rested at his upper thighs taking in where his scent was strongest and where Jim whined the hardest at. He pulled apart his legs and settled in to lavish that skin that never saw the light of day as he opened up their bond as wide as possible allowing for each of them to feel how horny they were, yes, but their gratitude, trust, and love for one another as well. It also served for a good distraction as Spock went to devour his mate for the second time that afternoon and what he knew would not be the last time that leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i cut out early of the porn, i know the beginning bit was better, i know.
> 
> taluhk-wuh should mean precious one, anyway my vulcan grammar is BAD
> 
> just wait i've already started writing some other spongebob themed stories so subscribe to that trainwreck. also i should be back to And You Makes Home and some other projects soon


End file.
